The 30 Weirdest Things You Could But Probably Shouldn’t Buy on Amazon

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Condom USB Amazon

Amazon is well known for being the ultimate online shopping destination. You can find anything on Amazon they say. Anything. Things that never should have been found. Items hidden in the depths of Amazon search pages never meant for mankind to click on. Amazon items so weird, strange, unnecessary and, in some cases, mentally scarring.

If you are brave enough, have a strong stomach, and are willing to see the occasional NSFW item, then maybe you are qualified to handle this list. These are 30 of the weirdest, most uncomfortable, sickening, hair raising items that have ever been situated below the Amazon logo.

Just remember . . . We warned you.

Real Scent of Girl Amazon

Real Menstrual Smell – 10ml

Who is this for? Why do they need it? Why does this exist? Why?!

Caffeine Soap Amazon

Bath Buzz Caffeinated Soap

Don’t like the taste of coffee, but love that morning pick me up? Well have we got the product for you!

Ladybugs Amazon

1,500 Live Ladybugs

Just in case you didn’t have enough crawling around already.

Ball Lifter Amazon

Wildmant Men’s The Ball Lifter

A bra for balls! What will they think of next?

Canned Unicorn Meat Amazon

Canned Unicorn Meat

To start with, this does not contain any actual meat. Having said that, if you want to destroy some childish innocence, leave this out for the kids to find.

Tampon Flask Amazon

Smuggle Your Booze Tampon Flask and Funnel

Because no will think twice when they see you knocking back a couple tampons.

Cat Shaker Amazon

BigMouth Inc The Cats Ass Salt and Pepper Shaker Set

You can spice up any meal with a little salt and pepper, and these shakers can spice up any table.

Roswell Soil Amazon

Roswell Soil Sample

Finally proof of alien life, or at least dirt that they may or may not have stepped on.

Infant Circumcision Amazon

Infant Circumcision Trainer, White

Well I guess it’s better than practicing on the real thing.

Coyote Urine Amazon

Wildlife Research 523 Coyote Urine

I’m sure there is a legitimate use for this in hunting, but you have to wonder how they are getting this stuff.

55 Gallons Lube Amazon

55 Gallons of Lube

We’ll just call this an “investment” to say the least.

Fat Amazon

A Pound of Fat

If you’re like me, you probably have enough of this already, but in case you wanted a good look at it, here you go.

Communion Amazon

Prefilled Communion Cups Juice/Wafer

The reviewers of this item seem to absolutely love it. So at least there is a market for it out there somewhere.

Skull Amazon

Real Human Skull with Carrying Case

Apparently this is a real thing. Also the comments on this page are absolutely disgusting.

Shittens Amazon

Shittens Disposable Mitten-shaped Moist Wipes

We’ve all been using toilet paper like a bunch of peasants, when apparently the future has already come.

Condom USB Amazon

8GB Condom USB Flash Drive Funny Naughty Memory Stick

I guess someone out there finds this to be really funny. On the plus side, 8GB is a solid amount storage space for 2005.

Hair Cutting Coat Amazon

Hair Cutting Cloak Umbrella Cape

Hair is like sand. Once you’ve got it in your house, it’s impossible to get out. Well worry no longer!

Semen Book Amazon

Natural Harvest: A collection of semen-based recipes

This book instills in me a deep horror alongside images of a chef adding his “secret ingredient” directly into the bowl.

Chicken Leash Amazon

Chicken Harness Walk Your Chicken

It’s important to make sure your pets get their exercise.

Gotta Go Poncho Amazon

Pocket-sized Disposable Restroom

You never know, when you gotta go.

CelebriDucks Jesus of Nazareth RUBBER DUCK Bath Toy

Who doesn’t want a little Jesus floating around in the tub?

Hilary Nutcracker Amazon

The Hillary Nutcracker

Whatever your political opinion, this is actually pretty funny.

Bacon Lip Balm Amazon

Accoutrements Bacon Lip Balm

Nothing like that greasy flavor to let your partner know how much you love them.

Chores Video Game Amazon

Prank Pack Extreme Chores

There is a right time and a wrong time to pull a prank. Christmas morning falls into the latter category.

Boyfriend Pillow Amazon

Boyfriend Pillow, Blue Shirt

Personally, I love being the little spoon, so they have already made one sale today.

China Shrink Cream Amazon

Original China Shrink Cream – .5oz Tube

Yes, this is a cream that will somehow magically “shrink” your vagina. I don’t even know what to say.

Wank Wipes Amazon

Wank Wipes

Tells you everything you need to know right on the box. For his pleasure.

Uranium Ore Amazon

Uranium Ore

Don’t tell North Korea you can get this on Amazon.

Inflatable Sheep Amazon

Bristol Novelty White Blow Up Sheep Saucy Goods Men’s One Size

A bachelor party gag gift with horrifying repercussions if taken more . . . seriously.

Nothing Amazon

The Gift of Nothing

For the person who has everything.