34 Honest Product Slogans

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Sometimes marketing is wrong. Just wrong. Whether it’s a slogan or branding in general, many companies aren’t willing to admit what their products really are, hence these honest slogans for some of the world’s most recognizable brands.

See above, Perrier even sounds fancy, being French and all. This isn’t water for the average Joe.

Be sure to scroll through the rest and let us know which one was your favorite in the comments below!


Pfft, starting with this one was an easy choice, because anyone who’s suffered through this abomination knows perfectly well that it’s not butter. Ain’t fool’n nobody here.


Ha! This one isn’t just true of Dirt Devil. Insert any random vacuum brand and this still holds true. There’s even an adorable commercial called Dear Kitten that makes light of this.


Sexist? Sure, a little bit. But let’s be honest, when was the last time you saw a man driving a VW Beetle? Well? Yeah, that’s what we thought.


Trader Joe’s may be the poor man’s Whole Foods, but the store also comes with half the pretentiousness.


Self explanatory here. Nobody’s skin is that flawless, even with makeup.


Geriatric smell, but at least it works. We’ll deal with smelling like grandpa if it keeps our aches and pains away.


Not that we’re super snobby at Wably, but Tyson’s frozen foods are nearly inedible. Seriously, we’re considering a ban on them in the office.


There may not be a more true slogan in the world. Comcast is the most hated company in America — for good reason mind you.


Some good things have come out of KickStarter, but it’s basically the lazy person’s way of raising capital for projects most people don’t even want.


Febreze brought this on themselves with their silly commercials where people can’t smell garbage that’s nearby.


We have no shame. Every woman in the office has, at one point, owned a Phooey Vuitton. Maybe we should pay them better…


It doesn’t help that Tic Tacs are addictive like crack either.


Yeah, but when we’re sober we’re able to feel regret, so…


Yet, as kids, we secretly loved when mom was tired, because Hamburger Helper is delicious in an overly salty kind of way.


Have you ever backed up a full-size U-Haul truck? Did you by chance take out a mailbox or hit your car? Yeah, don’t feel bad; we’ve done it too.


Saying no to Girl Scout cookies is un-American, but only because those cute shining faces lay on the guilt like the Catholic church and Jewish mothers.


Is Radio Shack still around? Seriously, The Shack is doomed.


You can get anything on Amazon. Seriously, just about anything. You can also rent movies or stream content for free if you’re a Prime member. Oh, and you don’t need to go to the library, because everything is on Kindle.

Amazon owns our souls.


Apple’s marketing team is full of geniuses. That’s basically what this means.


Or 8:00am and drunk, but we’re pretty sure you have to be drunk to like this place.


Somehow Ben & Jerry’s being associated with breakups and heartache actually makes people like the brand more. Well played, boys.

By the way, what’s your favorite Ben & Jerry’s flavor?


This is so true. It’s even more true when there isn’t diet Coke, because diet Coke can never be replaced. Ever.


We won’t even touch celery without ranch dressing.


It happened to us all the time as kids. All. The. Time.


It’s like Photoshop, only easier and free.


Stereotyping is okay because we’re making fun of white people, right? We kid.


It’s like Facebook for professionals.


Cosmopolitan is a guilty pleasure most of us just can’t give up.


Truth. There isn’t really a way to argue against this one.


The worst part is that we pay an obscene amount of money to feel like crap while wearing their bras.


Does anyone still have one of these? I mean, seriously. Anyone?


If you don’t lose it you probably sent it through the washing machine. True story.


How many of you have thrown away or donated an old printer just because it ran out of ink? Raise your hand.

That concludes our list. Which one was your favorite?