Fanboy Report

28 Honestly Accurate Slogans (We Saved the Best for Last)

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We believe there should be truth in advertising, hence us pulling our favorite Honest Slogans together for our readers.  Some of these are funny, and some are just sad.

Be sure to let us know which honest slogan is your favorite below.

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We may be nerds here at Fanboy Report with absolutely no sense of style whatsoever, but even we know Sears is a really bad place to shop for clothes, and no self-respecting geek would buy electronics there.

It’s time for you to go, Sears.

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Only like one person in our office drinks his coffee black. The rest of us pretty much like a little coffee with our creamer. Spot on, Nestlé. Spot on.

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Aww, poor Blockbuster. It must be sad being put out of business by a kiosk in front of Walmarts and a streaming service with really sh*tty movies.

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It hurts so good. So good.

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This one wouldn’t be true if there were more decent movies. Just saying, Reed Hastings.

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Or a poor writer for a geeky website. We can get away with this because the CEO probably won’t read our articles.

We jest. Most likely you’re a poor college student or a gamer who’s gone afk just long enough to microwave some water with this little block of cardboard noodles floating in it. Or your mother is out of town and can’t bring dinner down to you in the basement.

You know, one of those three.

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And animals. Lots of cute, cuddly and adorable animals.

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Despite lacking a vagina, ovaries or a uterus most guys could probably diagnose themselves as pregnant. Truth.

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It doesn’t happen often, but when an airline loses your luggage it’s the worsting f*cking thing in the world. Like worse than needing a spoon and having a knife or whatever else Alanis Morissette was complaining about all those decades ago.

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This is why we believe in Pringles.

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Because we’re definitely not going for the over-priced sh*te seafood, mates.

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Helping us escape British Lit without actually having to read Milton. We’re perfectly happy with our B-.

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Or Hummers just announce the fact that you have a small dick.

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Our moms telling us God was watching didn’t keep us from fapping 24/7 as teenagers. Why should we care what the NSA sees?

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Due to the fact that we aren’t Jamie Lee Curtis, we are un able attest to the validity of this statement.

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History professors should include an answer “Aliens did it” on every multiple choice test. Just for laughs.

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Not that we’d ever know what these tins are really used for. Nope. Never.

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Wikipedia is free; Cliffs Notes aren’t. Just advice for our future college students out there.

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Nobody believes you when you say allergies are why your eyes are red. You know this, right?

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Being a hardcore gamer has the same effect most of the time.

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Yelp is like a playground for the masturbatorily insanity.

buzzfeed honest slogan

F*ck you, BuzzFeed. We will never be a Disney princess, no matter how often you try to tell us differently (or how much we want to be). Nor will we be a Harry Potter character. Want proof? Whenever we whip out our wands in front of muggles we get far worse than a hearing at the Ministry of Magic.

Liars.

radio shack honest slogan

Is Radio Shack still around? Seriously? They aren’t gone yet?

surge honest slogan

So much sugar. So much caffeine. So. Much. ENERGY.

honest slogan taco bell

Now they’re serving breakfast for those people who don’t understand what closing time is.

honest slogan comcast

P*ss off, Comcast. Bunch of tossers.

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Mountain Dew + Cheetos + mom’s basement = gamer heaven. And yes, Cheetos dust gets all over our keyboards, but we don’t give a rat’s ass. They’re f*cking delicious.