Fanboy Report

26 Most Important Maps You Won’t Find In Schools (Number 16 is Hilarious)

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Sometimes school leave gaps in our education. Seriously, do you know which country has the hottest women? Or which country in Europe has the most redheads? Yeah, we didn’t think so. That’s why we’ve thrown together a list of the 26 most important maps you won’t find in any school.

See, look at the map above. If you’re planning an international Spring Break trip and want to go somewhere with your favorite type of beverage it’s important to know which country is known for what alcohol. This is serious stuff.

Most Atheist Countries

This is important? Well, if you’re an enlightened atheist looking for your homeland it’s good to know that China is the place to go. If you’re looking to convert godless heathens you could benefit from knowing where there are non-believers to convert.

Beers on Minimum Wage

Alcoholic? Here’s a handy map of Europe showing how many beers you could afford to buy every month on minimum wage. This is vital information for someone who is content drinking beer and working a low paying job for the rest of his life.

Endowed Woman

Planing to be a plastic surgeon? This map can help you find areas of the globe with the greatest need for breast implants.

British Invasion

We’re not talking the Beatles. These are all the countries invaded by Britain at one point or another.

No Gays Allowed

Looking for a homophobia utopia? This map will help find likeminded folk. These are the countries where homosexuality is criminalized.

If you’re gay we recommend staying away from these countries. Bad news.

Most Emotional Countries

Do you wear your heart on your sleeve? This map will keep you from visiting places where emotions aren’t really a thing people have.

Side note: Is anyone else surprised that Germany wasn’t less emotional? No? Just us?

Europe According to Americans

europe according to americans

Image: Alpha Designer

This is basically a guide for what not to think about all of these countries/areas. Yeah, this is all wrong. All of it. Except Germany and Switzerland. Those two are pretty much right.

Feeling Loved

This one we just find shocking. You mean to tell us there are people in the world that feel more important and loved than Americans?!

Thanks Google

google auto complete europe map

Image: Randal Olson

“Why is [Greece] so… Important.”

This is what happens (or happened once upon a time) when you started typing the phrase “Why is [insert country name] so” into Google and it started to autofill.

‘Cuz I’m Happy

Traveling? Avoid the places in red, because the people there are certainly going to be buzzkills as they’re the least happy places on earth.

This just makes us sad, really.

Priorities, Man!

Here you can find out who the highest paid public employee is in each state. Pretty sobering to think about how much we value sports over education, but Nevada may be the most depressing of all.

WWW.

internet browser map

This has got to be a few years old, because who still uses IE?

Reporters Without Borders

freedom of the press map

At Fanboy Report we get to write pretty much whatever we want. This map puts in perspective just how precious that really is.

Fun fact, our website is not blocked in China! Yet.

Darn you Google!

google auto complete map

Image: Randal Olson

Similar to the map about Europe, you can find out what people are searching for regarding your home state.

Some Stereotypes are True

average penis size map

Image: targetmap.com

Umm, we don’t want to spell out exactly what this map is, but sometimes stereotypes MEASURE up to the truth. This map just sort of HUNG the truth out there. (CM = centimeters, in case you hadn’t sorted that out yet)

Get it? Figure it out yet?

MMM, Doughnuts

obesity map

In the United States we may not have the biggest, umm, yeah, those from the last slide. But we do have the biggest bellies!

Smarty Pants

national iq map

This handy little map will help you find a place to fit in if you’re not the sharpest tool in the shed.

Strike a Pose

most photographed places in the world map

Image: imgur.com

So basically Europe is the most photogenic place on earth. Budding photographer? Europe is the place to be.

Perspective

More people live in Southeast Asia then the rest of the world combined. So, basically go there if you want to be just one of billions of people and have no personal space.

Dang, That’s Racist

Good news, Americans! We aren’t as racist as everyone thinks.

Well, not so fast.

Hotties Everywhere

Are you a creeper who likes to stare rudely at woman and undress them with your eyes? Here are the best/worst places to do just that.

Perv.

Smokers’ Paradise

In Russia, cigarette smoke you.

American Colored Glasses

the world according to americans map

Image: Alpha Designer

This is seriously what Americans think of the rest of the world.

Hey, at least we got New Zealand right.

Gingers

red hair in europe map

Image: imgur.com

If you’re into redheads then this map is for you, because it shows you exactly where to go for the best chance of finding a carrot-topped mate.

Metric System

If you can’t count in units of 10 this map is very important, because it shows the only 3 countries in the world that don’t use the metric system. That means you should really only travel to Liberia or Myanmar (Burma) or the United States.

Well, there they are, the 26 most important maps you won’t find in schools. Which was your favorite?