Trump Wants You… To Pay To Hang Out With Eric Trump

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Donald Trump

Image: Flickr

Donald Trump is due to be sworn in as President in January, and as you might expect from a man who lives in a gold-plated apartment that would have made Saddam Hussein say “that’s a little much,” the party he is planning to throw promises to be pretty ritzy.

And tickets to the event are currently a hot commodity. But if you have the money to spend, you can actually avoid mixing with the average crowd and get special access to the man himself.  Trump is offering a set of exclusive “packages” that will get you the VIP treatment at the inauguration.

First, there’s the “Bald Eagle Package.” And with such an American-sounding name you know that one is going to be good. Here’s what you get:

  • A private reception for you and sixteen guests with Mr. Trump.
  • Eighty-five VIP tickets for the inaugural ball (attire is camouflage & cufflinks, classy).
  • And a four-day hunting trip with Donald and/or Eric Trump.

Though, let’s be honest, that’s a shameless sell out there. You know that “and/or” is definitely getting you a weekend with Eric. Either way, all that will run you a mere one million dollars. That’s the kind of value the Trump brand is known for.

If that is a bit of out of your price range you can always get the “Grizzly Bear Package.” Now this one is similar, but you only get the private recession and a two-day hunting trip with Eric. And reflecting the fact that you only get half as much Trump with admission, the price tag is five hundred thousand.

And of course, with either package, you get access to the top-shelf entertainment for the celebration, which will include any of your A-list stars who can be paid enough to attend. Though Elton John has recently said he’s definitely out.

Either way should be a fun time if you like fishing and Eric Trump. Though depending on how many packages they sell, he may be pretty worn out by the time you book your trip.

And he will probably sell a lot since being able to spend a weekend with the son of the President is probably worth more than a million dollars to a lot of lobbyists. But we won’t get into that. See you for the inauguration, Eric.

Wyatt is a writer and your friend. You can follow him on Twitter @WyattRedd.