It’s Singles Awareness Day: Here’s how you celebrate

By  | 
MILAN, ITALY - SEPTEMBER 27: People gather outside Ferragamo fashion show building for Milan Women's Fashion Week on SEPTEMBER 27, 2015 in Milan.

Image: Tinxi/Shutterstock

So yesterday was Valentine’s Day and all those people with their “adorable”, happy relationships probably had a great time celebrating (no offense if that’s you). But if you’re like most of us people who spent it alone, you’re probably seething with resentment. That’s totally understandable. And is, in fact, the correct thing to feel towards those jerks.

But you know what?

We’re about to flip things on them.

What is Singles Awareness Day?

Today is Singles Awareness Day, which is the day when you get to take that simmering rage and harness it into a day that’s all about you. You’re going to celebrate today with all the things that only single people can do. And by the end of the day, your coupled friends will be the ones who are jealous.  So here’s some ways to show them what they’re missing out on.

Hang out with your pets

The love of our pets is pure and unselfish. And in many ways superior to the love you could get from another human being. So while the person you love might be nice, they’ll never be a big, fluffy dog. And they will never be as cute and independent as any cat. You can’t blame them for that. It’s just a fact of life.

But when you’re single, you can totally hang out with your dog or cat instead of the pale imitation that is a romantic partner. So take them on a date to the park. Get them a new toy as a Singles Awareness Day gift and enjoy the pleasure of their company.

Spend money on yourself, because you can

Dating is expensive. No matter how you choose to structure the rules about who pays for what, both of you are going to come out poorer. But you know who doesn’t have to spend money on people just because it’s Valentines Day? Single people.

And you should take today as an opportunity to celebrate just how sweet that disposable income is. Go out and buy something you’ve been eyeing all year. You don’t have to pay for Christmas presents, or anniversary gifts, or any of the other things that society says you have the obligation to buy to show someone you’re dating that you love them. So why not take what you would have spent on all that garbage this year and get something for yourself?

After all, money can’t buy you love. But it can buy you a lot of ice cream. And as far as the joy-producing hormones in your brain are concerned, those are basically the same thing.

Go somewhere you’ve always wanted to visit

You might have always dreamed of taking a vacation somewhere exotic with someone you love. You’d stroll down the Champs Élysées with your partner in tow and as the lights came to life in the Ville de Lumiere, you’d turn to them and hear them whisper a soft, “I love you.” It would be perfect.

But here’s something you might not be aware of:

Traveling with your partner sucks.

It may literally be one of the worst things in the entire world. And no one in real life has ever had a couples travel experience like the one I just described. It doesn’t happen (unless of course it has happened to you, in which case, go away).

Someone always ends up being disappointed. And you don’t get to go to the places you were really interested in or stay in the hotels you like. And as the trip runs on and the two of you always end up getting on each other’s nerves, which leads to embarrassing and hurtful fights. Plus, you can’t even take a day to cool off since you’re stuck together until the return flight.

But when you travel by yourself, you can go wherever you want, stay wherever you want, and sleep in as late as you want. And when you meet an attractive person in your hostel, you’re totally free to pursue a foreign romance, which is always the best kind.

So this year when your partner-having friends come by to see how you are holding up, leave them a note to casually say that you can’t be reached because you’re touring some islands in Greece. Let those chumps take that home to their spouse.

Spend time with your friends

We all know that friend who got into a relationship and just dropped off the map. Dating someone always ends in them monopolizing your free time with their weird need to be around you. So instead of doing that, get together with some friends and enjoy the platonic love that you only get from them.

In a lot of ways, it’s better. There’s no jealousy or possessiveness. And no one is in it for any reason other than they enjoy being your friends. So why not use the day to reconnect with the people in your life who already love you, instead of trying to find a romantic partner to do so?

Just take the day to be gross

One of the worst things about being in a relationship is having to worry about how you look. So this Singles Awareness Day, pull out your favorite pair of sweats instead. Skip your daily routine and relax.

Go to the store in a pair of Crocks (we’re kidding, please don’t), and dare that jerk behind the counter to say something about it.

And maybe you’ll be surprised and meet a charming stranger there. After all, there’s nothing more enticing than someone who is completely at ease with who they are (even when they’re wearing Crocs.) But don’t be too quick to take them up on that offer for a date. After all, enjoying your independence is what Singles Awareness Day is all about.

Wyatt is a writer and your friend. You can follow him on Twitter @WyattRedd.